The Adultery Diet
by lizteroid
Summary: Based upon a book of the same name, Bree is the leading character. She's unhappy in her marriage to Orson, and when Karl Mayer steps onto the scene again, Bree takes her chances.
1. Chapter 1

Bree looked down to the dial on her bathroom scales and sighed. She'd put on so much weight since Orson had been up to no good. She'd sit and eat most of the pies she baked, she'd snack on chocolates in secret when she thought Orson wasn't around and also she had began to drink again. It had all been a huge stress and her body was the evidence of it, so on this day looking down as the scales read **178lbs** Bree made a vow to herself.

_I MUST lose the weight again!_

It was as simple as that. Bree had a naturally high metabolism, but all of a sudden it had kind of broken down and was laying dormant as if hibernating for winter. She sighed thinking of her old figure. The figure that had gotten her into a lot of trouble as men used to fight over her. She needed that figure back and she knew exercise had always been easy for her so this would be so good, and easy. Or was it going to be that easy?

Since Orson had began on his kleptomaniac surge, Bree decided it was time to take action and fast before her body could absorb more weight and she'd be 180lb. She needed to get back down to her lithe and luxurious 126lb. She discovered Orson was lying to her and so, out came the Yellow Pages so she could research into divorce lawyers and attorneys, she'd definitely need one. For all she knew, Orson could try and rob her blind! Their marriage had hit rock bottom, he paid no attention to her and when he did it was only for one thing...

Bree had had enough of it. She wanted out of her now loveless marriage to a burgling fiend. It was embarrassing! For Heaven's sakes, the man had stolen a mug of musical theatre merchandise from their gay neighbours and he'd claimed it to be his own. Maybe Bruce was right with his...penis shaped voice recorder. 'Idea for book: Woman married to a gay guy and doesn't yet know it, he could also have a totally gay name, something like Orson...' she sighed harshly as she flicked through the pages to reach the D's.

She reached them finally and took her pen and notepad as she perched on the floor, hovering above the pages. She jotted a few numbers down before she came across one that immediately caught her eye on the next page; DIVORCE LAWYER/ATTORNEY K. MAYER. CALL 874-337-568 she stared at the ad and frowned a little. Karl Mayer? It had never dawned on her that Susan's ex husband was a lawyer, and a damn sh*t hot one too. This man would make it all good, Karl was brilliant at his job, she'd seen him at work and he was amazing. She had to have him represent her. And so, it was settled, Bree was to get Karl Mayer as her divorce lawyer in the battle against Orson that he had no idea he was fighting, let alone losing.

Bree managed to make her way over to Karl's offices and she sat in the reception, waiting to be called into the room, it was humiliating as there were job interviews going on for the new receptionist job that Karl was holding open, all of those girls were slim and gorgeous while Bree looked like some flump, dressed in an oversize sweater with her slacks, three sizes larger than what she usually wore. She looked over the leggy blonde who had just been called into the room before Karl looked out of his door at the commotion going on in the reception area, it was then he noticed Bree sitting there.

'Jeez! That's Bree Mason…' he thought as he eyed her over, she was looking down now as Justina, the leggy blonde had given her back some glare and Bree sat there now like a pup with its tail between its legs cowering. Karl couldn't help but notice her because one; Bree stuck out like a sore thumb dressed in that apparel, and two; it was Bree, she'd been one of the most lusted after women in college, especially by him.

"Nuuuh…Bree…?" he questioned, making sure it was her.

The redhead looked up at Karl from her daydream, she gasped as he'd recognised her right away and she gazed into those intense eyes as they stared back at her, boring into her own eyes willing to read what she was thinking about at that moment.

She cleared her throat, "Yes…it's me" she smiled a little, her cheeks bulging and her eyes hiding behind the extra weight on her face.

'Wow…she's…changed' thought Karl 'What happened to her?' he raised his brows and invited her into his office, smiling as she passed him, turning to the side as she slipped through the door.

"So I came here to talk to you about getting a divorce from my husband" Bree said confidently, looking to Karl and smiling as if she spoke about the price of bananas.

"Uhh…you want to divorce your husband…what happened?" Karl questioned, offering Bree to sit down as he pulled out the chair in front of his desk, before he walked around the desk to sit down in his own chair and he took his scotch glass as he sat down, looking to her still.

"Oh my husband is a kleptomaniac and a liar" Bree replied, "And I don't love him"

'Wow…surely it's gotta be the other way round…' Karl thought, he sighed and set down his glass, "Right, does he know you've come here to seek advice on this?"

"Are you kidding?" Bree questioned.

"Woah, okay" Karl chuckled, "Stupid question!" he smirked.

Bree smiled to him, noticing the twinkle in his eyes, she blushed a little and she gently fixed her sweater.

"Okay so…let's see, I'll need to look at your assets" Karl said to Bree.

Bree's eyes widened and she looked to Karl, 'You can look at my assets anytime…let me lose the weight first' ] she thought and she blushed, letting a giggle slip out before she bit her lip and looked down to her chest, "That's fine…should I have everything written up for the next time I come along?"

Karl looked over Bree, she was adorable, "Uhh…that'll be an idea" he nodded.

Bree then stood, "Well, when's good for you?" she questioned him.

He opened his diary, "How about…uhm…Friday, 2:30?" he suggested.

Bree nodded a little and dug in her purse for her Blackberry to record the date and time of the next meeting with Karl, "I'll see you on Friday" she smiled and left the office, "Goodbye Karl"


	2. Chapter 2

He sighed as the memories of that night came flooding back to him, the sights, the smells, touches…it had all been so unique, just like Bree. True, she was a lady and an extremely refined, elegant one at that too, but that night just something about her had changed his views on her completely;

She was usually the shy and retired type of girl, but once Bree had downed a few cups of the homemade punch, she was a totally different woman, and now without Rex around, Bree was free to do whatever she wanted and he wouldn't find out about it because nobody would know except for him. Yes, Karl Mayer, the man she had been secretly wanting to get to know for quite some time. He may have been rude, arrogant and egotistical at times, but Bree was sure that underneath his extremely ignorant façade there was a loving and passionate man waiting to be unlocked and she was about to try it for herself.

The redhead had watched him from her corner, softly moving to the music in her company and she had made eyes at him a few times, each time more seductive than the time previous. Finally she decided it was time to move in for the win, she moved around the room, getting closer to where he was, watching him the whole time and not caring who was watching her. Finally, Bree got up close to him and pretended to know the guys he was talking with, she smirked and joined into their conversation, giggling as they shared the punch lines to their crude jokes, jokes she wouldn't ever dream of laughing at usually, but in Karl's company she couldn't care less.

Karl then noticed she was there and he smiled to her before the other guys realised that Bree was making her moves on Karl, they stepped away only slightly, but stayed close enough to watch and see if Karl objected or accepted her passes. She looked into his eyes, her own sparkling as she then purred, "Hello handsome…" to which the guys Karl had been standing with all raised brows and muttered between themselves as Karl stood stunned at Bree's comment. Usually she wouldn't have said boo to anybody unless it was about class work or projects.

He raised his brow, "Hey…Bree isn't it?" he questioned, knowing full well what her name was but just so he didn't come up with something embarrassing to say to her, he played it safe with that line.

"Yes, Bree Mason…" she said in that purring tone yet again. With her eyes and her smile, Karl felt himself turning to mush, however it could have been the fact he had mixed some of his drinks which for one was not a good idea at a party.

"So…" he began, "Anything I can do for you?"

"Hmm…how about we arrange that sentence…and miss out some words?" she smirked, tracing her finger up from where his navel was to up his muscular chest and under his chin, "How about: Can I do you…?" she whispered to him in his ear.

"Bree…come on!" he chuckled and looked to her, not knowing whether to take her seriously or if it was a test or if she was actually drunk. He didn't know. However he found himself saying, "Why don't we go find a bed…?" he smirked a little, taking her hand.

Karl smirked as he sat behind his desk in his office, not realising his next client had walked into his office, he had definitely used that dream too much as of late, now even more since he'd split with his wife, but now Bree had come back into his life, not as a love interest but he was sure their paths would be crossed even more so with this messy divorce she seemed to have on her hands.

Bree was home now, she decided to go and see her friend Katherine, tell her about the news of the divorce, even though Katherine already knew about it, but she would tell her about seeing Karl again after so long, so the redhead went home and parked her car in her driveway before walking across the grass to her neighbour's house, she quickly knocked on the door and stood there with a soft smile on her lips as she waited for Katherine to open the door for her.

"Well hello there" Katherine smiled as she let the door swing open, "Come on in…have time to spare for our old friend Margarita?"

Bree giggled and she nodded softly, it was after midday so it was alright to drink, it didn't matter anyway, nobody would see them drinking, Bree stepped inside the house and she smiled, "Of course dear, she's in the kitchen I presume?"

Katherine nodded and linked with Bree as she closed the door softly, "Yes, she is, she's already been waiting for you"

"Oh even better!" Bree giggled as they walked to the kitchen and Bree sat down in front of a tall glass of chilled Margarita and she smiled to Katherine, "Thank you" she said gently before taking a sip.

"So, any developments on your new project?"

"You mean my divorce dear?" Bree smirked a little, "Well, I've hired a lawyer…" the redhead smiled sheepishly and unknown to her, her cheeks were turning pink at the mere mention of her new lawyer.

"Oh…is he cute?" Katherine asked her.

Bree smiled and looked into her glass playfully, "You could say so, but I think the term for him would be more a macho one…" she said as she flicked her eyes back up to look at her friend.

"Oh? Do share"

"His name's Karl and he…what's wrong?" Bree asked as she saw Katherine's smile disappearing fast.

"Karl? Not Karl Mayer?" she asked her redheaded friend, who nodded, "You do know that's Susan's ex husband…"

Bree looked to Katherine and raised her brows, "Uhh…oh?"

"Yes, they had a messy divorce too" Katherine shared.

Bree swallowed and she let her cheeks flush as she remembered how she'd had Karl first:

They'd managed to slip away from the party, just the two of them, making sure nobody saw them leaving together. They got to his dorm room, on the other side of campus and as soon as they were inside he'd pinned her to the door, kissing her fiercely and making her moan already. His hand claimed her cheek before brushing back through her fiery tresses and holding them, pushing her lips tighter and more feverish to his own. Bree had one free hand however as she managed to brush it over Karl's chest, her eyes closed as they shared their kiss and her fingers fumbled with the buttons to his shirt.

Bree moaned when she felt his smooth chest beneath her palm, she looked down to his bare chest as Karl was unbuttoning her dress, she swallowed hard. Nobody could know about this she decided, only she and Karl. She felt Karl's lips on her neck as she felt her dress slip down from her shoulders and down her body, the soft confines on the dress rippling against her delicate porcelain skin and she tilted her head back to give him better access to her neck while she ran her fingers through his dark hair.

"Bree…?" Katherine questioned as she clinked down her empty Margarita glass on the counter, "Would you like another drink?"

"Uhh…yes…please" Bree smiled sheepishly.

"Are you okay?" Katherine asked her friend, touching her hand as she stood to go and make another round of drinks for them.

"I'm fine, just thinking about the divorce" Bree replied.

"Well I'm always around if you ever need someone to talk to okay?" offered Katherine.

Bree gave her a soft smile, "Thank you" she replied before getting lost in her thoughts once more.

* * * * *

She arrived back at his office, changed into another dress, a dinner dress and she sat on the sofa waiting for him in the reception area. Bree smiled as she waited for him to come out of his office and see her there already. Finally Karl emerged from his office and locked the door before he turned and saw Bree sitting there, looking adorable in her dress and cardigan. He smiled softly to Bree and she gave a gentle wave before she stood up and smiled back to Karl before he walked over to her, "I made some reservations" he told her.

Bree smiled softly as she heard Karl say so, "Great, I'm looking forward to it" she replied.

"Shall we?" he smiled to her, "Ladies' first"

Bree gave a nod and Karl walked before her to open the door for her and she smiled up at him, "Thank you Karl"

"You're very welcome Bree" he replied.

Bree smiled as she walked out of the door and Karl followed her, she softly turned to him, "Where are we going to?" Bree asked him softly and she looked into his blue eyes.

"Oh just Chino's" he replied to her question.

Bree gasped, "Chino's! Oh Karl!" she hadn't expected him to say Chino's because it was a romantic restaurant, usually only couples who were about to be engaged or were sharing an anniversary went to that restaurant but this was just a dinner meeting with an old friend, but Karl was a lawyer, he could most probably afford it anyway.

"What's wrong?" Karl asked her.

"Oh nothing, I…just didn't expect you to have reserved us a table at that place" Bree smiled softly.

"Would you rather go somewhere else?" he asked her.

"Oh no, I mean…" Bree blushed a little and she shook her head, "No thank you" she then looked up at Karl.

Karl chuckled gently and he nodded softly, "Let's go"

When they got to the restaurant, Bree looked around at the fancy table settings and the fabulous dresses the other, slim women wore as they gazed into the eyes of their lovers and partners and she began to get uncomfortable until she felt Karl's hand on the small of her back and she swallowed as they were ushered over to a table by a waiter, Karl's hand still rested on the gentle curve of her back until he pulled out the chair for her and smiled at her softly, before he also pushed her to the table.

Bree smiled to Karl as he sat down facing her at their table, she then gently looked around the restaurant and she smiled as the music began and she had completely forgotten that at a certain time they would turn down the lighting and the restaurant would be all in candlelight. It was that time. The music also began to play, gentle classical music and she turned back to Karl, her eyes wider than usual and she gave him a nervous smile.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked her, gently reaching for her hand.

"Oh, uhm…I hadn't realised it was that time at night…" she replied.

"What time? It's only early Bree"

"I meant about the candles and music Karl" she sighed, still she let him hold her hand in his.

"Hey, don't worry about it okay?" Karl offered her his charming smile, accompanied by a wink.

Bree smiled and nodded as she looked into his sparkling eyes, so blue. The redhead looked to their hands and she smiled a little as she didn't feel uncomfortable letting another man who wasn't Orson hold her hand in public. Karl noticed Bree's gaze to their hands and he gently asked, "Is this alright? You looked worried, I just wanted to calm you a little"

"What? Oh…uhm, yes it's okay" Bree replied.

"Shall we order some wine?" Karl suggested, and he pulled his hand back.

"Yes, okay…" she smiled, however her hand followed Karl's as he pulled back.

Karl noticed this and he made a joke from it, "Is your hand lonely there…?"

Bree heard his joke and she blushed, immediately pulling back her hand and in the process of doing so, she knocked the water glass over herself and gasped loudly. Karl watched Bree with wide eyes before he handed her a napkin to dry herself off as she sat down again, her face almost as scarlet as her hair. She looked down and closed her eyes as she wiped off her dress. Bree sighed and she quietly said, "I haven't changed in over twenty years really"

Karl pushed back his chair and moved to kneel next to Bree, taking her hand and he tilted her chin up to look at him, "Hey, I think you have, Bree…you know I didn't stop thinking of you, I always sit alone and I imagine that time we had together…remember it?"

Remember it? Is this guy nuts? I've never stopped remembering it!

She looked to him and smiled softly, nodding. Upon seeing this small gesture, the waiters moved around them, one carried a basket of roses, another had a bottle of champagne and they stood applauding Bree and Karl. Bree looked at the waiters her smile still visible and then looked to Karl, she giggled a little. The other diners at the restaurant saw this and looked over clapping and smiling to them, thinking they were now engaged.


	3. Chapter 3

Once they had finished their meal, they went to Karl's car and were in high spirits, laughing and joking about the events in the restaurant and suddenly, Bree leaned in and kissed Karl sweetly on his lips. As she pulled back, her eyes opened, fluttering a little as Karl looked to her, her cheeks were flushed softly and she looked to her lap, "Thank you for tonight…I really enjoyed it Karl"

"You betcha, it was perfect, so were you…a little blurred around the edges but the same Mason I remember" Karl replied to her, before starting the ignition and putting the car into gear. Bree watched him as he put the car into motion, driving her home, back to her loving husband and house. As he pulled up and parked outside 4354 Wisteria Lane, Karl turned to Bree and he leaned across, kissing the redhead until finally she pulled back and paid her farewells to him, he sat outside until she was inside.

The redhead slipped silently into her nightdress and joined her soon-to-be ex husband in their bed. When Bree's form sank into the mattress, Orson's arm linked around her body and he held her close to him, Bree's eyes closed instantly, indicating to Orson that she did not want to talk or be disturbed. Orson took the hint and he smiled before falling back to sleep once again now his wife was back, still unsuspecting of her latest deed, the upcoming divorce.

The following morning, Bree woke first and immediately went to the scales to find out how many pounds the meal she's shared with Karl had put onto her body. It came as a pleasant surprise that she'd actually lost 2lbs. So her current weight was now in at; 176lbs and she smiled gently, looking to herself in the mirror.

Orson came up behind his wife, smiling to her in the mirror, "How's that going? You're pleased at that result then?" he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck, "Did you enjoy your dinner last night? Any prospective new clients?"

Bree faltered slightly as she heard Orson ask this but she nodded and smiled gently, removing his arms and avoiding the questions, " Uhh…" she frowned, "Do we have any…ibuprofen or something for a migrane…darling?"

Orson nodded gently and gave her a knowing smile, "Too much wine last night" he kissed her temple and moved to get her some pills to take.

With Orson out of the room for a few minutes, Bree was able to text Karl and arrange another meeting with him for that evening, this time, it was strictly for business to see if he had gotten any further with her divorce settlement. By the time Orson returned with pills and water for Bree, she was smiling and told Orson, "Actually darling, I don't think I'll be needing those now…" she floated past Orson, giving him a gentle peck on the cheek before going through to their room and smiling to herself, as she left her bewildered husband alone in the en suite to ponder what was going on with her radical mood swings.


End file.
